May 2013
May 19th
1,184 notes
fuckoffcats: THE AMOUNT OF THINGS I HAVE TO DO AND I’M SITTING HERE REFRESHING MY FUCKING DASHBOARD OVER AND OVER AGAIN I HATE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE
May 19th
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May 19th
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yesterdayisadisgrace: liar-liar-plants-for-higher: chompyface: do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head there in your hands and looking into their eyes and then violently jerk their head on a right angle and snap their neck Well, that took an unexpected turn. so did their neck
May 19th
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criminiallar: that hand swooping to a finger point thing zayn does to get niall’s attention ( ︠ु௰︡ू)
May 19th
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i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
May 19th
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dogesexual: do you type differently depending on the person you’re talking to
May 19th
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ryannxp: irisowl: So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized Dr. Robert Evans I looked it up My dentist is Captain America’s dad omfg
May 19th
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“Avoid hurting the hearts of others, the poison of your pain will return to you.”
– Native American Code of Ethics (via moord)
May 19th
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Reblog this if you've ever desperately, totally...
captain-kirks-perfect-hair: I want to know that I’m not alone in this…
May 19th
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farrahsfaucet: you dont wanna mess with me i cry easily
May 19th
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What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
May 19th
116,488 notes